November 2009
4 posts
“Your life is a perfect fairytale; mine a broken one.”
It's okay.
I’d say, it’s okay.
But the truth is, I’m not okay.
When you told me you and her had a couple shirt, I was still normal. It was the fact that you told me you wanted to wear it out WITH ME tomorrow. And the fact that you seemed happy that you had a couple shirt.
Then you come and tell me you didn’t want to and you bought because she sort of hinted it.
Which side of you...
Fading conversations
23/02/09
JJ: Haha. Big eye. You still got choir? -17:46
JJ: Ya what i am complimenting you. Eh why your shirt got such a big hole you still dun change? - 17:57
JJ: Sorry i dozed off. Nope today dun have. What made you think we had trainings on thursday? -20:21
JJ: Me la. You dun look like. Hahaha. My bf is elmo! - 20:49
JJ: You?! Many bfs! Hahaha totally unthinkable. Hahahaha - 20:54
JJ: -.- are...
Scaffold.
As long as you are still holding on and you still believe, it doesn’t matter what happens now. Do you know that?
I hope I am on the correct path now. God, I really pray that I am on Your path.
Proverbs 3:5-6.
I love You, and you.
October 2009
14 posts
Friends, for now
Thank you for singing 1, 2, 3, 4 to me :)
Give me more lovin’ then I’ve ever had Make it all better when I’m feelin sad Tell me that I’m special even when I know I’m not Make me feel good when I hurt so bad Barely gettin’ mad I’m so glad I found you I love being around you You make it easy, As easy as 1 2, 1 2 3 4 There’s only one...
I truly hope so.
Name: Jing Qi Date: 10/25/2009 Colorgenics Number: 65312407
You appreciate the better things of life and you don’t particularly want to strive in order to achieve them. What a pity you were not born into the Gentry with servants, etc. Unfortunately - life is not like that. You have the ability to be whatever it is that you would like to be but you must make the effort.
Being a likeable...
Start trusting and stop thinking
Your Existing Situation
“Inclined to choose luxurious things, which are gratifying to the senses. Turned off by things which are tacky and tasteless.”
Your Stress Sources
“His current situation or relationship is not up to par, but cannot improve it without help. Hides her vulnerability by holding back affection or being overly expressive. The relationship may be depressing,...
Tempted and trialed.
Dear God, please help me walk in Your path. I think I am straying away. I don’t know anymore.
Today I talked to Abel. He made me feel better a little. I just wish I know Your plans. However great they may be, I know You have Your ways and means of achieving this and I just want to believe in You. But I am not omnipotent like You are, and I am only human. I don’t know which paths to...
“I am sorry I cannot win your heart.”
Pretending I don't care,
I want to tell you how I really feel, but I can’t.
So I can only write here because I know it’s the last place where I can safely write about my feelings and you won’t read.
I want you to want me. I want you to love me.I want you to make me feel like the happiest girl on earth, the only one in your heart.
I just want to be yours, and yours alone.
“I wish I could tell you that I love you. But I can’t.”
– Because all we can do is walk pass each other like total strangers.
“I’ve lost. Lost hope in you, lost faith in you, lost my beliefs, lost...”
Hopeful.
Today’s moral I learnt:
Never trust what he says anymore.
Dinner? You asked. I was hesitant. After all, look what you promised before. Tennis games, trips to the arcade, dinner… They all never came true in the end. You simply forgot about them. Rather, you were just trying to lure me to my own demise again.
But I still went for it, thinking that maybe, just maybe, this time it...
“I always thought I was lucky, you know, because in the past whenever I wanted...”
Never really had a chance.
I used to think it was us, against the world. Me and you. You and I. We would fight for what we wanted.
Us, to be together.
Let it rain, let it pour/What we have is worth fighting for/You know I believe/That we were meant to be
Somewhere along the road, it became me against you. We fought our silly battles, pointless, they ended in tears, uncertainty…
And now, it’s just me alone....
“You don’t love someone because they’re perfect; you love them in spite of the...”
– My Sister’s Keeper
But life goes on.
These few days have been an emotional roller-coaster.
On my mum’s birthday, you told me you think we can never be together, and you want to be friends with me. You told me you love her more than you love me.
I cried. My heart died. I was calling out for God.
The next day, I thought God answered my prayers. You called me countless times, and when I finally picked up the phone, you talked...
“Dear Lord though my path may be strange and dark help me not to fear and help me...”
September 2009
4 posts
Bye.
树与鸟儿的故事
今天,你我在拥挤的人群中再次相遇了. 但是, 一天又一天的过去, 你好像开始有回答了. 我有一种感觉, 你终于决定飞走了 我只不过是鸟儿在雨中暂时的避属. 经过许许多多避暑的过程中, 树开始对鸟儿产生了感情, 就这样,树在鸟儿最落魄的时候为它遮风挡雨,也在鸟儿孤单寂寞的时候,陪伴以及关心它. 但是天总会青郎, 而鸟儿终有一天得与树分离. 终于, 天青郎了, 鸟儿便挥着翅膀, 向着蓝天飞翔. 鸟儿从没回头,直奔向白云背后的那片蓝天. 鸟儿就这样离开了, 也从没有预想到为它付出了这么多的那棵树. 最后,树终于明白现实是残酷的, 但它也并不责怪那只小鸟. 付出了这么多, 树要求的并不是回报, 而是想与它的诚心和关怀, 带给鸟儿快乐和幸福. 但树能给的, 却又不是鸟儿想拥有的. 也对, 只不过是一棵普普通通的树, 树与鸟儿又怎么可能呢? 它俩的相遇从一开始就是一场错误....
Free radical substitution mechanism.
Things that I am certain of:
I am just a substitute.
You don’t care about me.
You don’t love me.
We won’t be together.
And so why am I holding on, wasting my time?
“When my weakness is exploited to your advantage. How do you justify that?”
– Yet, how can I ever stop loving you? You know that, and you always use it against me. How long can this continue? How long more before my heart really breaks? Why are you so unfair?
“In this weird twisted way, I know you miss me liking you, not because I want to...”
– (via eletheowl)
August 2009
8 posts
“I am smart enough to know that you don’t care about me, but I’m not strong...”
– (via eletheowl)
“You know when you’re really upset about something and you’re asked, “What’s...”
– (via eletheowl)
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance.
#1:
Today we had photo-taking, and your class was after my class. After our photo-taking our class went for Chem SPA and we were waiting outside the Chem lab. Later your class was at the Zheng Xin Yuan taking photos when you kept turning around to look over at my class, according to Amy. Even Weijia noticed, cause she said “Why does he keep looking over?”.
#2:
Today I told Amy some...
“We can’t fast-forward time to know if it’s worth it.
So we trust our hearts and...”
– (via eletheowl)
Faithful till the end
Sometimes it gets so hard to breathe. Why is it that I cling on to that little hope?
Yes, you said you want to be with me but you can’t. You said you’ve responsibilities.
I don’t even think you love me, you just think I’d make a good girlfriend, don’t you?
God, I know You want me to hold on. I just have this feeling, I don’t know why.
God please tell me I...
Like the wind.
Tonight I called you using someone else’s phone. Did you recognise it was my voice? Why did you sound so calm? Did you even know it was me on the line?
Why, why does it seem so hard for me but it looks (or is) so easy for you?
I walked past your house and deep down inside I was wishing you’d look out of the window and see me.
Sometimes I wish I could scream how much I love you when...
Ignite your bones
And the tears come streaming down your face When you lose something you can’t replace When you love someone, but it goes to waste Could it be worse? Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you And high up above or down below When you’re too in love to let it go But if you never try you’ll never know Just what you’re worth
I just wish you...
July 2009
11 posts
Unfailing love, so undeserved
Now heaven, be open
I’m so scared. I really want to get into finals for Centerstage. I really want to do well for Bio. I really want to be with him.
Lord, hear me. I know you do. I know these are somewhat impossible wishes but with You, all things are possible.
That is what he told me. “All things are possible if you believe in God”. And yes, I do.
I need strength for...
1 Corinthians 13:13
Three things will last forever — faith, hope, and love — and the greatest of these is love.
Dear Lord, I pray that You will let me sail through my next week. It will be super busy. I have tons of undone assignments, I need to study for my Biology test (and ace it, cause Lord you know I need to get an A to pull up my average) and I have the audition for Centerstage on Friday. So...
Wake up
I don’t even know whether you love me still.
You said you wanted to give me my birthday present, then I didn’t wanted to, cause I said I’m “not related to you”
Then you said I’m your friend.
It hurts even if I didn’t say so. It hurts to hear you tell me that I’m just a friend. It hurts because it means that there isn’t any hope left.
None....
“Maybe true love is a decision. You know, a decision to take a chance with...”
– Unknown
If only you know.
I stayed up to 3AM just so I could accompany you online.
Yet when I asked you why you stayed up till so late, you ignored me.
I don’t know why you want to make this so hard.
We’re both at the losing ends, in the end.
You asked me if I want you to call me every night. What am I supposed to say? Yes, because I miss you and I really want to hear your voice and know that...
“Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up...”
– Hosanna, Hillsong United
“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can...”
– Marilyn Monroe
What if, if only...
Goodbye to everything I once knew.
Goodbye to hearing your voice in the phone every night. Goodbye to listening to you sing over the phone. Goodbye to all our secret meetings in the park. Goodbye to knowing you, inside out.
I just wish I had one more chance. I just wish I had not let it slipped away.
And now it’s too late.
June 2009
27 posts
I want to feel your heart against my skin,
nuances:
and your soul against my own.
4518.) I love blogsecret because it makes me feel...
(via blogsecret)
“Walking through the ruins of this crazy town
Like we’ve got plans
That...”
– Just hoping. But hope cannot do much.
(Lyrics from The Owls)
“The truly painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said, and never explained”
– (via quotewhore)
